As Serious As…...

It's been sinking in for about two weeks now, and I'm slowly warming up to the idea of actually becoming a mom.  It's still scary as all get out, but it's starting to become reality and definite rather than a mean joke or a dream.

We told our parents, bosses, and best friends.   Now we wait until I'm far enough along to tell the world.  I thought it would be around new year's, but when I went to the OB/GYN, they estimated July 7th, so I'm currently 7 weeks along, so we'll get to spread the word early.  (which by the way, this all deserves it's own rant…how can I be three weeks farther than I really am simply because my last period started at the end of September, but conception happened 3 weeks into October?)  So cray.  Yes, I said cray.  It deserved a cray moment.

But, I'm accepting that and realizing the reality that I will have to cancel two of my weddings for I will be too far to handle the stress of a wedding day, and just have given birth and will be too exhausted to stay awake for an entire wedding.  Sad day.

Now, it's time to start thinking about insurance, bottle or boob, names, birthing center or hospital, and so many other decisions that I can barely keep my head on straight.  I'll keep you updated as decisions are made.    For now, here's a photo of me actually feeling awake and pretty since finding out about the wee little parasite zygote.

Two Pink Lines

I'm pregnant!??!  Nothing quite prepares you for feeling those words, saying those words, or reading the test that says those words.  It was not what I was anticipating at all Tuesday.  

I had just gotten back from a wonderful two week trip backpacking across Italy, and touching on Paris and London.  All along, my friend thought I should take a test when I returned home because everything smelt awful while we were there.  I stepped out of our sleeper car on the train and I swear someone completely wrecked the inside of the toilet.  Instantly, I wanted to ralph into my shoe.  

It slowly became clear that any sewage in Italy made me want to hurl…even my own.  Of course, Abbey thought I was crazy the whole trip, "I can't smell anything, you're nuts…or pregnant."  And I would simply reply, "you're nuts for not smelling it!"  

So, Tuesday, the morning after we returned, I was up and had a test available so I thought I'd just get her voice out of my head and do the deed.  I peed. I sat it on the back of the toilet.  I wiped.  Before I even got to flush, that sucker was blasting two neon pink lines in my face.  Shit.  

No way.  Not real.  I looked at the test again.  Maybe I read that wrong, two pink lines means "not" pregnant, right?  No.  Well, crap.  "Derek, can you get in here right now please?" meekly came out of my mouth.  His reply, "What, is there a spider in there?"  Ha, if only.  

He opened the door and I just pointed at the test tossed onto the counter.  "What?"  I pointed again at the test tossed onto the counter.  "Oh, huh, OH!"  There it was.  He hugged me and smiled so big.  I couldn't handle it. "I don't know how we're going to do this.  This was not my plan yet!"  And he replied only how a wonderful husband would,  "we'll figure it out."