Maternity Photos!

I am starting to understand google +, so I am finally getting some photos up and around here.

Back in May, Derek and I had my amazingly talented friend, Jessica, come down from Saginaw to shoot our maternity photos.  I couldn't be happier with the results.  Jessica of Jessica Lynn Photography, soon to be Clickin' Chicks Photography, did such an outstanding job.  It was certainly an adjustment being on the OTHER side of the camera! But it was a nice change of pace, and it feels wonderful to have these photos to look back on.  Take a peek at some of our favorites :)

Hello - Goodbye

Goodbye pregnancy, hello baby!

At least, that's what I'm hoping will happen very very soon!  Evie's due date is mere days away, but I'm anxiously awaiting her arrival - and hoping she will be here sooner rather than later.

The last few months have been an absolute whirlwind.  Derek's multitude of job interviews, me working like crazy at the bakery and with sessions, scheduling doctor appointments, showers, trying to sell my car, and a million other things.  All of which has made me super tired and ready for a break.

I really hope my lack of writing this blog during pregnancy isn't a pre-curser to the lack of documentation that may occur once she's born!!   I really do have lots to say, just not enough time to say it all and say it eloquently.  So, I'm taking the short road, making a list in no particular order, and just getting it out of my head.

1.  I'm ready to be done being pregnant.
2. My toes and feet swell at night after a long day, but thankfully I DON'T have cankles.  My doctor even said my ankles look great for being 39 weeks pregnant!
3.  My pregnancy really hasn't been that bad, I really just don't like feeling anything but normal, so I have tended to complain about it.  But I've been very lucky and thankful my pregnancy has been so smooth.
4.  Though I've fought the idea of epidurals, they're kinda starting to sound nice lately after some intense pain I've had recently.
5.  No matter how hard I try, I cannot feel sexy while I'm holding a watermelon and waddling across the room.  It just isn't happening.  (now, if I'm sitting or standing - I feel pretty cute, but that's because no part of me is moving to show the pregnant waddle)
6.  I have my fears of being a bad mommy - like forgetting where I put Evie, or leaving her somewhere.
7.  I have this fantasy of being that awesome stay-at-home mom that has amazing meals cooked for my husband when he gets home.
8.  I have also read articles that many moms have the same fantasy, but realize it will never be reality with a newborn...but it's nice to dream.
9.  I can't forget to write down somewhere that I first felt Evie hiccup at 24 weeks.  I should also write down that she hasn't stopped since!
10.  Everyone says I'll know when real contractions are happening, but I am still afraid that I'm not going to notice what real labor pains are and think it's something else.
11.  Since becoming pregnant, it has been harder to decide on what I want to eat while we're at a restaurant.
12.  I also have never drank more coffee than I do now since becoming pregnant - and before anyone sends me messages of how I'm hurting my baby, I can too have coffee, MY doc said it's ok.  Even most articles you read say you can have up to 12 ounces of caffeine a day.  So there.
13.  Going off on the previous point:  People who try to tell me how to parent will be smacked.  I have 5 younger brothers and sisters aging from 14 to 3, and my best friends have little ones so I'm around kids a lot.   I think I know what to do.    And if it's something I didn't notice that could potentially harm my kid, we'll figure it out.   And if I do need help, I will ask.  I have all of my parents and grand parents still alive to ask questions.
14.  I will try not to post contraction and dilation statuses, but I make no guarantees.
15.  This list is all over the place, kinda like my brain function.


Alrighty, so now that those are on my blog and off my mind, I think I will get back to editing so I can enjoy the rest of my vacation before Evangeline makes her debut!

Love,
me

A Father's Love

I can't believe I am in my 3rd trimester.  Have been for a couple weeks now, but still.  Crazy to think in a mere 2.5 months, our daughter Evangeline, will be out in the world for us to love on and take care of.    Even more impressive is the fact that God is trusting such precious cargo in our hands!  I am so thankful to have Derek by my side as we go through this parenthood journey together.

In all honesty, it has been him who has gotten me over the terrified hump and into the excitement of being a mommy.  From the start, he has had a smile on his face.  He smiled and hugged me when he saw my test's two pink lines, he shouted out on Facebook that he's "going to be a dad!",  and has reassured me weekly, if not daily, that we will be taken care of and things will fall into place once she arrives.

I know I love my husband.  I have for the last six years.  But in these last few months, I have grown an entirely different kind of love towards him.  One with more respect and awe as he receives parenthood with open arms.  Any time I have been unsure about this journey, he takes my hand and calms my mind.

Just last week we had our elective 3D ultrasound.  As soon as the technician began searching for Evie's face, Derek took my hand.  Just getting to see her and what she's looking like brings a smile to his face and a tear to my eye.

He is going to shoot me for sharing this, but it's too cute not to share.  We also purchased a heartbeat animal, where they record the baby's heartbeat and place the recording inside of a stuffed animal - in our case, an elephant.

After getting home and getting into bed, Derek quietly asked me, "do you have the elephant?"

"No, it's out in the living room."

Silence….

"Do you want me to go get it?"

"...Yes?"

So I got out of bed to grab the elephant.  When I came back into the room, I told him I secretly wanted to sleep with it too but didn't want to be the weird married girl sleeping with a stuffed animal!  He smiled, wrapped his arms around the elephant, squeezed it to hear her heartbeat, and proceeded to fall asleep.

Best daddy moment ever.

I truly cannot wait to see how he is with Evangeline.  Forget trying to fend off the moms, I'm probably going to have to pry her away from her daddy to get some baby time!  Aside from dry heaving while changing dirty diapers, I think he is going to make a phenomenal father.  I can't wait to witness it :)

27 weeks!

Evie and I at 26 weeks....haven't taken one this week yet.

The end of an era ------ er trimester!!!  Where have these six and a half months gone?  It still feels like last week we discovered we were pregnant, and now in just a few months time we will be holding our little girl in our arms.

I hope little miss Evangeline knows how much she is loved.  Though the beginning of this journey scared me, I can't wait to kiss her little toes and to hold her close to me!! Derek and I have been growing impatient on her arrival.  Last week, Derek even pressed on my belly last week telling her "Come out, I want to meet you!!"  (Yes, he does know she needs to bake a little longer, he's just antsy).  Seeing her move my belly and feeling her kicks and even little hiccups has made me realize how truly blessed I am to have this little one coming into our lives. 

The nice thing is I have had a rather uneventful pregnancy.  Yes, in the beginning I had nausea and morning (evening) sickness, constipation, and smell aversions...but in hindsight, it really wasn't as awful as I was making it out to be.  I'm just a big baby and really don't like being sick.

Since about week 15 or so, I've felt pretty normal.  My belly has definitely grown.  I now take back all the times I thought I looked pregnant.  No, no I didn't look pregnant.  Not even close.  I also now have some trouble putting on undies, pants, socks, and shoes.  I also catch myself grunting...a lot.  I recently watched The Switch, where Jason Bateman's character grunts and moans when he eats.  Unfortunately I feel like I do that now with every move I make!  Moving around 17 pounds of extra weight, most of it in my belly region, is difficult!!!

Dusty has now officially felt his little sister move about! He had leaned on my belly one morning while laying in bed and she happened to be moving around in there.  She let off a very hefty jab right where he was leaning.  He raised his head and looked at me, then looked to his left, then put his head back down on the pillow.  Needless to say, the next evening, I was laying on the floor in the nursery - he came up to me and patted my belly before laying at my feet.  I'm not sure if he was trying to hit her back, or if he's letting me know he understands there's something in there!  Either way, I thought it was cute.

What else should you in the world be updated on?  Oh, I have probably eaten my weight in soft serve ice cream since Cascades has opened at the beginning of March.  So happy I've only had that craving since January!!! (insert sarcasm there).   I have not had any weird cravings like pickles and ice cream.  Honestly, choosing where to go to eat or what to make for dinner has become increasingly difficult.  I was hoping cravings would help, but either nothing sounds good, or it all does and I can't make a decision!

I am now at going to the doc's office every other week.  Yesterday I had to take my glucose test.  When Doc. Pastoriza tried getting a heartbeat read, he had to follow her around my belly because she was moving so much.  I think it was all the sugar I had to consume!   I haven't heard back yet on the results, hopefully I'm normal.  Either they'll call or they'll wait until my next appointment. 

OH, we are thinking about getting a 3D ultrasound done.  Derek's dad really wants us to, and upon looking up all the different 3D photos, Derek now wants to so he can compare what she will look like outside the womb to the image.  And I think it has something to do with his impatience in seeing our little lady.

Ok, I think that's as much as I can muster for this evening. 

Tiff

Growing fond of you

Ok, so it has been a few weeks since I have posted anything about my pregnancy, about how Evie is doing, or about anything at all!! Sorry, folks!

Overall, we are all doing well.  Evie is growing more every day - I can definitely tell by how strongly she is kicking me!   I may only be 25 weeks along, but her strength at this stage amazes me.   Derek was able to feel her moving last night.  She gave him an entire acrobatic routine! I think she may like her daddy :)  

Speaking of her daddy...I knew that I would love the idea of him being a dad.  He has always been good with kids.  But when he turned to me yesterday and said, "guess what, in a few months, we're going to be parents!!!" with so much enthusiasm, it really hit me just how thrilled about it he really is, and how much I love him for it.  He is going to be a great dad to our little girl.  I am so blessed to be able to share this experience with him. 

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On a different note.. I know I was nervous, scared - petrified, really - when we discovered that we were expecting.  Slowly and finally, over the last few months, and better yet, the last few weeks, that fear has turned to joy and excitement.  I have always wanted kids, so don't think that I didn't.  But I wanted to be a little more financially sound.  You know, have my credit cards paid off, and have at least one student loan gone so that extra money could go toward babies and the never ending diapers and clothes. I wasn't expecting to struggle and fear where the money for the water bill was coming from, on top of having to think about starting to buy diapers now before baby gets here. 

Finances have been the toughest part about this whole pregnancy.  I honestly wish I could just let it go so I can enjoy my pregnancy.  I really hope I'm not the only one who has these scary nagging thoughts that interrupt the most precious part of your life.  But even as much as I try, I can't help but worry.

A few weeks ago, we talked about a passage in the bible about letting things go and knowing that God has it under control.  Trust that he will take care of it.  I have tried to think of that verse every day since Amy spoke about it at Rivertree. And though I still have those scary "how are bills getting paid this month" thoughts in the back of my head; in the last couple of weeks, I have really tried to make an effort to not let it get to me.  Evie is our first child, she deserves her parents full attention and love, no matter how rich or poor we end up. 

Ma Belle Evangeline

19 weeks!

Dear little one,

Yesterday we discovered you're a little lady!! Mama got her long awaited wish of you being a girl.  Mama's boss, Courtney, made the cake with the buttercream that would share what gender you were.  It was so nice to see just how many people love and adore you already and were excited to share in this special moment with us…and you!   And even though daddy says he didn't care what gender you were, I must admit, he had a pretty big smile on his face when he saw pink!! Of course, the grandmas and Aunt Kayla already had gifts ready to go for you.  I swear, you're going to be the best dressed little one when you arrive!

I have had the name Evangeline Marie picked out for quite a while, even before we knew you were coming.  I must admit, it took a while for everyone to come around to the name, especially your daddy, as it's definitely one that is unique and not used.  But that is exactly why I wanted the name.  It's unique, just like I know you will be.  Needless to say, as soon as we found out you were you, everyone already started calling you "Evie" :)

Your Uncle Luke and Aunt Amanda (or Mandy, whatever you may end up calling her!)  reminded me when we were all talking names a while back about how the Disney movie, the Princess & the Frog, has a character who falls in love with a star named Evangeline, and he has an entire song for her.  I LOVE this song.  It's beautiful, it's elegant, and I can't wait to have it memorized and sing it to you every night in the womb, and then when rocking you to sleep.

Check out the youtube video to hear the song for yourself :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmCCmF5hMgM

Look how she lights up the sky
Ma belle Evangeline
So far above me yet I
Know her heart belongs to only me

J'adore, J'taime, Evangeline
You're my queen of the night
So still, so bright

To someone as beautiful as she
Who loves someone like me
Love always finds a way, it's true
And I love you Evangeline
Oooh, yeah!

Love is beautiful
Love is beautifil
Love is everything, do you agree?
Mais oui!

Look how she lights up the sky
I love you, Evangeline

Oops...

I've been forgetting to write about my mommy-hood journey!! This may be a long post, so if you are also pregnant, I recommend going to the bathroom, grabbing a drink and a snack, pop in to pee once more, then relax in front of your computer screen.

At the 9 week mark, I discovered one of my first pregnancy symptoms - constipation.  Five whole days of just peeing.  Every time I ate something, I felt I was going to hurl, and that it wouldn't be food coming back up.  And nothing was helping.  I drank prune juice, coffee, water, tea, bread, and took stool softeners.  It. was. awful.  THANKFULLY that has been the only terrible constipation so far this pregnancy.

About 11 weeks into our pregnancy, an just after Christmas, we shared with the world that we were expecting.  It was almost surreal at being completely terrified about becoming a mother, and then once word got out, it felt better knowing we had so much love and support on our side.  I made adorable Christmas cards and sent it to family and friends far and wide, and then shared the baby side on Facebook.

13 weeks in, Derek got his car stuck in our subdivision.  I went out to help (I drove while he and neighbors pushed) for about an hour.  Came back inside and ended up with a wretched cough that I technically still have.  Ended up with having the flu for just over a week.  But I was an awesome badass and shot an entire wedding on my own in the thick of it!

I've thrown up now more times than I can count.  I hate throwing up.   Absolutely hate it.  I cry ever time.  Most of it has actually been from coughing so hard, or from my sinuses draining and I gagged - inducing the vomiting.  Knock on wood though - I haven't thrown up in almost a month!!

At about 15 weeks, I was laying on my stomach with my hands on my belly DETERMINED to feel baby.  I was convinced that because baby was about the size of an orange that I would feel it.  Not so much.  Every once in a while around that time I felt what I thought could be a flutter, or a movement, but was never sure.

At about 16 weeks, I finally started to pop out and look pregnant instead of just chubby.  My pants definitely didn't fit any more.  Yoga pants and leggings have started to become my best friend.

Now to current events!!  Today, was supposed to be 18 weeks, 2 days.  We went in this morning for our ultrasound.  Baby looks absolutely perfect.  Round head, fingers, toes, no extra appendages, big nose (of course, it's a Hammond, it's gonna have a big nose!)  and a cute round belly.  Stubborn too… we were trying to get a profile of baby, and he/she wouldn't move.  So I sat up, did a twistie crunch and laid back down…baby turned, but the wrong direction!!  Heart beat was measuring about 138 bpm while we were in there.  I held Derek's hand the whole time.  Also, I'm apparently measuring about 19 weeks.

**Side note** In my previous post, it said I was about 7 weeks, due July 7th.  I have no idea why that information never stuck in my head.  I've been counting July 13th as my due date, so today came as a shock that I was measuring right on cue with July 7/8th.  Don't remember them telling me at all in my last appointments. Must have been early baby brain!

Yesterday, I was still freaking out about being a mom, taking care of another human being, how much I am giving up for this baby, about how it's not going to be about me anymore (which does kinda stink).  I've had to give up a lot of photography income (and possibly more) that we need to survive, and not only will that money be gone, but we will have more to pay out because of baby in diapers, clothes, possibly formula.  It's so overwhelming and honestly,  I wasn't feeling like a baby is the best thing in the world.

But looking at those tiny feet with the tiny toes, the perfectly curved spine, the adorable round little head, the life that Derek and I created together,  I am determined to figure it out, to make it work.  To be the best damn mother I can be to this little body of chromosomes.

Wednesday we find out the gender of the baby.  I have the envelope with the gender ultrasound in my purse.  I must admit, I did try to peek through when I was in the car.  Dang envelopes and their security printing.  I couldn't make out a darn thing.  I'll keep you posted.